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vulpine artist
Posted on 2010.12.29 at 12:00
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.

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Missed another day yesterday so here is two more.

8: back in 2000, my 8th grade class took a day off from class to just mess around and celebrate "graduating" from middle school. as part of the festivities, the whole class stood in a field while water balloons were launched over and at us all. There were prizes involved, including a special one if you managed to catch a water balloon without it bursting. I caught one, and immediately, all the people around me tried to take it from me. during the struggle, it popped, but not all of it, just a side of it, and I managed to, without losing any water, retie the part that broke. I don't remember what the prize I won was.

in order to symbolize our graduation, we all were given a rose. it was not done in any sort of order, and I was the first kid in the whole class to get one. Essentially, I was the first to graduate hehe. The entire day was just full of awesomeness, and I ended it feeling on top.

9: Gods I hate it when these meme things have repeat questions. 10 years from now is my future. was my answer to that one not good enough? I'm not sure how to answer this one with any new information not included in my answer to #2.

I hope that the world puts itself back together before it falls apart. I hope my future is one of prosperity, and momentous change. I am really growing tired of the corrupt money mongering way in which powers that be stay in power, and restrict change for the better. I am one of those zeitgeist supporters who thinks a moneyless future would advance our species phenomenally.

I am not one of those who can retain a lot of detailed knowledge so I am not the one you want to ask about the details of the movement. Basically, the idea is that monetary profit leads to cutting corners, planned obsolescence, and generally rotten tactics in the name of getting a profit. such a profit based system produces more problems than solutions.

Additionally, I would like to live in a country where every new technology does not get bought by the military first.

so I guess that's what I hope the future holds for me: monumental change from systems that have been abused for centuries..

vulpine artist
Posted on 2010.12.28 at 02:52
Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
Tags: , , , ,
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

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I missed another day so here is two instead of one

6: 1, I have three tattoos: crow wings(back), a wolf paw (butt), and fox zigzags (arm)
2, My totems are Crow, Elk, and Fox.
3, I am polyamorous, meaning I love more than one person, and share the love!
4, My favourite marine animal is the thresher shark which is also sometimes called a Fox Shark.
5, My eyes change from more blue to more green, and what colours I wear can affect which it is.
6, I have never used dye or artificial color on any of my hair (have used texturizing products though).
7, I have been SCUBA diving twice, both times off of Cozumel Mexico.
8, Shaun is my third boyfriend.
9, I enjoy costuming and have several.
10, I've never had Vegemite.
11, I fucking LOVE Chilean empanadas.
12, Unlike most furs, I have no intentions of ever owning a fursuit.
13, I once had a ferret that I named Oreo.
14, My moustache has never been shaved, only trimmed, since I started growing it ... in 8th grade.
15, I enjoy making smoking implements a la McGuyver, and made a real nice one with a flask.
16, I built, painted, and launched model rockets as a kid.
17, My elementary school mascot was (drumroll) a fox.
18, I dont like sweet stuff, especially chocolate, but I loooooove salty stuff instead.
19, I'm three days older than my best friend.
20, Technically, since I am interested in the one I haven't tried, I am bi-curious.
21, In Art2 in HS, the guest teaching proportions ran out of time, and I had to teach myself the proper proportions from the waist down.
22, I have seen many of the actual figurines used to animate The Nightmare Before Christmas while they there on display at MGM studios in Disney World Florida.
23, The first nightmare I ever had was set on the escalators in the Museum of Natural History
24, I may join the Zeitgeist Movement after the newest movie comes out.
25, I do not like reading books. I would rather listen to an audiobook.
26, Zelda: Ocarina for the N64 was the first console game I ever owned and it took 2 years before I beat it.
27, My left eye is more nearsighted than my right, figures that's where I put Vulpine Pilot's scouter.
28, I smoked weed before I smoked cigarettes, and didn't like it very much to start.
29, I still want to get a street bike, and a husky, and a home near the coast.
30, I emailed a Korean artist (J-C) and bought prints (for the purpose of self printing) of who is obviously Kiba from Wolf's Rain from her ... twice (reprinted and lost the first files).

(wow that took for freaking ever to think of. don't mind my Erisian mind jumping around a bit: that happens.)

7: To be honest, I am not incredibly familiar with personality traits of each sign. A simple google search shows that 8 out of 10 traits I actually do seem to fit, but I am suspicious of the wording, especially given how "dynamic" Tigers are supposed to be: "by turns fascinating, commanding, and exasperating ... patient but short-tempered ...calm but rebellious ... petty but noble ... fearsome but affectionate ... free spirits but fiercely territorial." Honestly, some of this does fit me well, more so than the random other sign I used to test it (sorry Monkeys but unlike you are supposedly, I am not "cheerful" or "energetic"). so yeah, I am your average Tiger, I think.

A google search for my WESTERN Zodiac sign (Aries: The Ram) reveals an incredibly accurate "spiritual goal" to "learn the meaning of selfless love." and I used Taurus as a control test sign, for both me and Kezz are on either side of the cusp, and his "Spiritual Goal" is to "learn the value of insight" (also very accurate). I don't even need to read the rest of the personality profile to know that I more or less fit it (I've agreed with it enough times in the past).

Is there an astrological reason for our personality traits? With all seriousness, I say "probably." skeptic as I may be at some times, I am more a believer than not. And I may speculate that our bodies are actually a lot more in tune with the cosmos than we give them credit for. One film I saw suggested that our heartbeats' tempo was set by cosmic vibrations, or something like that. Just saying: anything is possible, so don't discount anything! :D

vulpine artist
Posted on 2010.12.25 at 20:39
Tags: , , ,
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

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5: I dealt with my biggest bout of depression during the first few years of high school. During that time, I lost my best friend. He moved the next city over, and did not continue to school with me anymore. My grades plummeted. my very first journal entry was in a text document in a hidden folder. in it, I detailed the correlation between my friend moving away and my depression and grades.

I have never been actively suicidal. my self preservation is too strong, and my reasons for staying alive too plentiful. However, I have wanted to commit suicide before. During this period, I purposely did not wear a seatbelt in the car. I did not want to kill myself, but I wanted to die.

to add to the matter, this period is when I discovered my sexual propensities. I am lucky to live in a family that is not homophobic at all. as such, despite persisting depression, my sexual orientation only briefly supplemented it. I became comfortable with my preferences pretty quickly compared to many who suffer with it their whole lives.

I did not find a good therapist to address my grades problem (or the actual cause) until I had already recovered from the depression on my own. Having overcome suicidal depression on my own, I felt empowered. I feel stronger emotionally for it. However, since it has been so long since I got over it, and since I never got the help I needed during the worst of it, I don't really know how to help others dealing with the same thoughts.

my next bout of depression would not last nearly as long, and my longing for an end not nearly as strong. I climbed to the top of the still-under-construction new stadium at CU. I looked over the edge of the roof, confidant the urge to jump would never take hold of me, no matter how shitty I felt.

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

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okay religion, as contrasting to my beliefs for day 18.

4: Well I want to say religion sucks, but I actually am a little religious, and I love my religion, and the silly customs that go with it. But then, you should remember something. It is fairly probable that my religion was created by two stoners after an acid trip in a bowling alley to make fun of religion. I can't say that with complete confidence, because I don't know. But any religion where one of the 5 commandments is "don't believe anything you read" ought to be alright, right?

Religion is used wrongfully. People run to religion because they are afraid of dying, and religion promises eternal life, even though it is impossible to substantiate that claim almost all the time.

The most sickening thing is how easily some religions can be turned around to do wrong in the name of that religion. Islam is a bad one. I've heard that a read through the Koran will illustrate violent punishments for not following the law of god. A read through the Bible will find many punishments just as violent for not obeying the common practices of 0 A.D. (such as not laying with another man). These religions are turned around and used to somehow legally break one or more of the ten commandments and expect no retribution for it after you die.

Most of organized religion is a fear-based control system. We dont need some [person who can somehow speak for a] higher power telling us to be good, except for these thing that are not good, but it will tell you it is. We can all figure out for ourselves what is good, who to be like, or who to not be like. Group thinking like organized religion is stemming the progress of human beings as a species. there I said it. If Jacques Fresco's dream of a religion free future is realized, I think it would be awesome. Sadly, I dont think most people will be able to abandon a belief system, not even after those atheists keep poking holes in their blind faith.

Also I doubt any of you are creationists anyways, but I saw an awesome bumper sticker the other day, that tends to agree with how I believe in the divine: "First, God created evolution." more on that in a few days when I go into my beliefs.

Day 02 - Where you would like to be in ten years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

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doing two today because I greened out last night and didn't do number 2.

2: I am not actually really sure where I will be in ten years, probably really good at making video game art. Geographically, I've always been drawn to the west coast, which is unfortunate, because my current mate is from the east coast, and prefers it, but either way, in 10 years, I wanna end up living near a coast. I hope I will still be with Phobic then, but who knows what will happen. ten years is a long time and I can change a lot in the time.

when I close my eyes and try to imagine myself 10 years older, I see myself looking much the same, just a couple more wrinkles. maybe I wear teeshirts a little less. I have a few more tattoos finished. Guess my inner eye thinks I'm already addicted to the ink. XD

additionally, I hope in 10 years I can afford to travel the world, or at least a few places I want to travel to, like Japan and Australia (tangent, I just changed my shirt in rockband to the Aussie Power kangaroo shirt XD ).

3: I am not against either drugs or alcohol really. I believe it is everyone's personal responsibility to research the effects of what they ingest and decide to take the risk or not. among other risks, this includes permanent effects, long term effects, and how habit forming the drug in question is.

I have been drinking a lot less alcohol lately. I used to be a hard liquor and mixed drinks guy who never drank beer, but now I do drink beer, and Im a 2 drink kind of guy with one notable exception. wine. I can keep on drinking glass after glass of wine, which makes holidays like thanksgiving really fun. but any other drink and I will drink 2 glasses tops (usually just one glass though).

The newest drink I have grown a taste for is dirty martinis, which is a clear example of tastes changing, because I used to not like green olives, and now I fucking love them. Beer is of course another instance of this, as now I love having a beer at work to relax, and used to be unable to drink it because of its taste.

as far as drugs, I love psychedelics, and most other kinds of drugs I wont try. Contrasting to narcotics, psychedelics tend to not be habit forming, not be addictive, and not be permanently harmful to any part of the body. as I said, everyone should assess the risk when they decide to try something possibly dangerous (like riding a motocycle), and there are certain drugs I would try, certain drugs I would never try, and certain drugs I would do as often as I could if I could get any.

vulpine artist

Day 1: My Relationship

Posted on 2010.12.22 at 02:31
Current Mood: awakeawake
Tags: , ,
Not starting this on day one of the month, so keep that in mind. Im gonna try and update every day though.

Day 01- Your current relationship.
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My Current Relationship.

Currently my only boyfriend is Shaun, though I have a couple other lovers. I have been with Shaun since February of 09, making this my longest relationship. Shaun has been living with me since 2008, when his relationship at the time ended.

Shaun and I are rather different. we have different interests, and even different fundamental principles. Most people who look at my relationship feel it is unfair, and that I do much more for the relationship than my mate does. I've grown tired of having to defend my relationship and my boyfriend. Other times I grow just as tired of his excuses for being unable to do things like find a job. I recently had the idea that another relationship might make my first one easier. Regrettably, my other lovers live too far away for such a relationship to be a possibility with either of them. Shaun also feels he needs a second mate, or at least a playmate, since he and I are not very sexually compatible, and that part of our relationship is nonexistent. The relationship is open, allowing both of us to have romance outside of the two of us.

The only thing I think is unfair about this relationship is that the circumstances around it prevent me from breaking things off with Shaun or vice versa. Doing so would force Shaun to return to New York, abandoning his life here. This more than anything keeps at bay the thought of ending it when Im feel particularly crummy about the relationship. It has taken it's toll on me emotionally. I feel less and less loving all the time. :C

vulpine artist

on online communication and emoticons.

Posted on 2010.11.16 at 11:47
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
Over my decade or so of online presence I have learned a lot about communication, and not just because of that communications class I took for health credit (I never had to look at STI ridden genitals) in HS.

Obviously, text does not have an intonation, so sarcasm or joking does not come across. Ya know I heard that someone tried to think up a punctuation for sarcasm (wonder if it's the same people who developed the interrobang). sometimes I solve this with a simple "</sarcasm>" tag. but more often, I substitute emoticons in place of vocal intonation and facial features.

It occurred to me last night that despite my decade of using them, not every one uses emotes, or knows how I use them. So I've decided to make a list of the faces I use most, what they are, and what vocal/facial cues they replace.

:3 - this is a simple smiling foxy. I use it liberally in place of :) I use it very often and forget not everyone is a furry and to it, so sometimes people have to ask me what I just said. nope :3 is a foxy, and a happy foxy. it means I am a happy foxy, or at least a smiling one.

;3 - this is a winking foxy. more often then not, this emote will accompany flirting, or at least something dirty.`

;D - like ;3 but with a bigger grin.

:9 or ;9 - licking my chops. much more sexual version of ;3

:P - Tongue sticking out. I use this when I poke fun at someone. This emote replaces sarcasm or a joking tone more than any other. Never take anything said in the same sentence as this too seriously.

;P - winking with tongue out. Sometimes, I can poke fun and be flirty or sexual at the same time.

XD - tightly closed eyes and grin. I use this when I poke fune at myself. If I do something silly, or make a funny typo, this is usually the face that I will use.

:O - mouth agape. expresses disbelief or shock. sometimes done in jest: "lol really, no way! :O." I sometimes use :o with a lower case O to symbolise a face that I make all the time in reality, but most chat clients interpret them as the same face.

^_^ - super happy. the horizontal emote I use the most. just means "yay" or "whee" or Im very happy

o_O or O_o - one eye bigger (think Dwane The Rock) used to joking and incredulity. this face just looks silly to me, so I use it when I try to be silly.

o_o eyes small but wide. I never use O_O. this is just a more serious version of :O. I dont really ever use this face in jest. unless I am also posting O_O, O_o and o_O

>_> or <_< - shifty eyes. Used either when bashful, revealing something either embarrassing or controversial, or just playing around and shifting my eyes in jest.

well I can't think of any more I use often right now. I will add any I think of.

vulpine artist

huh.... *the fox said nonchalantly*

Posted on 2010.10.01 at 12:04

checklistCollapse )</lj-cut? TOTAL AGE: 26 I guess I act pretty close to my own age but of course, a couple years older and more mature (ignore last entry XD). Yes. That's it; mature. I mostly was just curious enough to do this particular meme. Man, I remember the days when one friend would do a meme on LJ and 4-6 other friends would then do it. Any of you remember those LJ heydays? No? well click my bandwagon tag and browse older more read memes.

vulpine artist

What do you talk about?

Posted on 2010.09.15 at 00:26
Realized today that a good deal of what I say is idle banter that is not really about anything. Just be glad that most of my idle banter, I dont say out loud and just think in my head. Always shit either apparent or just plain irrelevant. It's like I'm authoring small talk for chats that I never remember or use online.


It's gonna burn this city! burn this city!

Posted on 2010.09.02 at 13:34
Woke up with the lyrics stuck in my head "This fire is outta control / it's gonna burn this city! burn this city." Had no idea why.
I suppose I was wrong though, the firetruck that passed me on the highway was there to put out a brushfire at the side of the road. Guess some 'tard threw a cigarette outta the window that started the fire or something.

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